When I sat down to
write this post (last night at 9:20 after serious research
on YouTube studying the socioeconomic
ramifications of cats chasing laser pointers), I thought to myself that I don't
want to be known for this topic. I don't
want to be the guy that does the silly holidays. I want to enlighten, humor, and broaden
perspectives. Tell the inspirational story
of a 65-year old Somalian gynecologist that fights warlords to save her
personally funded hospital. Explore
unique facets of science, and illuminate classic films featuring Nicolas Cage
or Tim “Spicy” Curry. That is, until I
discovered that today is National Waffle Day.
I am not even joking.
Yes, on this day in
1869, Cornelius Swarthout patented the first U.S. waffle iron, to be made
available in every home and kitchen, thus forever cementing the delicious
morsel in our hearts. Most sources on
this holiest of holy days leave the topic at, "Waffles is om nom nom,"
but there is an actual history of the waffle.
One that, if viewed on Wikipedia is depressingly well researched and
sourced.
The English word
"waffle" is believed to be closely related to the Dutch word
"wafel" which is then tenuously tied to the Middle Dutch word
"wafele." While the first
proper waffles didn't appear until the 14th century, their history actually
goes back as far as the 9th to 10th centuries depending on the source. They begin with oublies, which were thin
wafers closely related to the communion wafers, and were pressed using various shaped-two
sided irons imprinting a rich tapestry designs on to the pastry including coats
of arms, animals, historical scenes, and Jesus crucified (fun times).
Already spreading in popularity across Western Europe,
accelerated when Crusaders in the 13th century began returning with unique
spices and flavors to include with the pastries. The growing demand lead to the formation of
the Oublieurs Guild in 1270, which handled distribution of the small treats,
would later do the same for all contemporaneous light pastries to follow
including what would become the Waffle.
That's right, there was a Waffle Guild.
Presumably they would have gangland-style clashes with the Lollypop
Guild over control of the yellow brick road and the seedier parts of munchkin
land.
The first ever
printed recipe for waffles appeared in a short note from an anonymous 14th
century French gentleman to his young wife, not because she couldn't cook, but
rather because he was really jonesing for some fluffy battered goodness. The recipe was simple and imprecise, calling
for a few beaten eggs, salt to taste, whatever feels good on the flour, and
wine. Yep. Wine.
Leave it to the French.
By the mid-18th
century, various recipes for waffles spread throughout the European and
American world. Waffles had become so
popular it's rumored that Thomas Jefferson returned from Europe proudly
displaying a waffle iron to all of his friends, setting a trend for parties
devoted to the consumption of the delectable treats. These little underground soirees were known
as Waffle Frolics.
In the modern day,
there are dozens of verities of waffle spanning every continent, not counting the
genius and mind-bending modifications such as the waffle cone. Belgium, famous for the waffle that shares its
name, actually has many countless recipes and varieties. In fact, no town, city district, or tiny
hamlet in Belgium is worth visiting, which lacks not only its own beer recipe,
but its own unique waffle recipe. In
celebration of this world famous pastry, I recommend immediately going to your
nearest Waffle Hut, and eating yourself stupid on these unforgettable anytime
pastries.
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