St. Ferris' Day

                Another year has come, and once again, it is that special day for lovers everywhere.  The day when many a young couple will go to the local fair or amusement park; share a romantic meal of fair chili and watered down soda; spend ten dollars apiece to share a cozy seat on the Ferris Wheel; and enjoy a romantic view of the park while hoping that the guy in the chair a head of them doesn't vomit from too many deep fried twinkies and prehistoric corn dogs while he's above them.

                It is indeed that day of days.  National Ferris Wheel Day.  When we as a nation unite as one in celebration of George Washington Gale Ferris, Junior's brain child and monument to himself: the large, ever turning wheel of tedium.  When news that the directors of the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition wanted a monument to surpass the Eiffel Tower of the 1889 Paris International Exposition, Ferris, Jr. set immediately to work.  He took hold of his coat lapels in a proud fashion, looked into the great open sky while standing proud, and said to himself, "I will out-Eiffel Eiffel.  I will create an attraction to drive generations of children to tears of boredom.  I will over-charge for a 10 second view of an unimpressive landscape.  I will place riders on a precarious structure with nothing but the equivalent of grandma's rocking chair and a seatbelt between them and a 100-foot fall.  And in charge of this several hundred thousand dollar machine, I will place a toothless man or woman who appears barely qualified to operate a mechanical pencil."

                The planners rejected his idea because they feared his rotating wheel of death might be a wee bit too dangerous.  However, in the great American fashion, Ferris, Jr. persisted and, with a bit of help form investors, other engineers, and some clever campaigning, the board of directors accepted his design of a 264 foot, 36 car, 2,160 passenger wheel that cost a total of $400,000.00.  A proud day for Ferris, Jr. to say the least.  He then spent the next two years in litigation over the near $750,000.00 the directors had robbed him and his investors of until his untimely death of typhoid fever in 1896.

                George Washington Gale Ferris, Junior's legacy remains intact however.  No fair, amusement park, or circus is complete without one of these great turning wheels, and many cities worldwide compete to be home of the world's tallest Ferris Wheel - the current record holder being the Singapore Flyer at 541 feet, 28 cars, and 784 passengers.  In no uncertain terms is this the only holiday worth celebrating on February 14th.  We should totally have it off.